Whew! It’s been awhile since I last blogged or even sewn for that matter. Lot of reasons for that…
- Started sewing Butterick B5526 over Christmas break. After spending way too much time trying to pattern match the pockets, ripping them out as the pockets are rather high(!), cutting out new pockets, and still having them turn out horribly, I threw the shirt into a corner in a fit of rage. Sewed a simple Burda shell top as a palette cleanser which turned out kind of meh… And kind of lost of my sewing mojo for awhile.
- Started a new job closer to home! Meaning no more 3 hour commutes when I would surf sewing related stuff to feed my obsession, instead focusing on adjusting to the over-stimulus of a new workplace while trying to start a healthier lifestyle with my newfound time.
- Stress of my mother getting diagnosed with a serious illness, flying home for a week while simultaneously worrying about the impression I was making at my new job. Which probably contributed to myself being sick for a month. Luckily my mom is well now ❤
I feel slightly guilty that I don’t really like wearing most of the things I’ve sewn so far, and that some of the patterns I picked up are probably not quite my style and may likely not wear. By wanting to reduce wastefulness in consuming, my own mistakes will also be wasteful. I realize I probably should let go of my perfectionist tendencies, that it will take time before the things I make will even get close to the quality of even fast fashion. (I have so much respect now for women working as sewists.)
For awhile I have been trying to (re)find my style, thanks to the immensely helpful advice from Anushka Rees aka Into mind. I realized I couldn’t continue on my goal not to purchase any new clothing as I simply can’t sew fast or well enough, and the few items that I actually liked wearing in my small wardrobe were wearing out after several years of use. So I went shopping. And miracle of miracles, I found 3 pairs of jeans that fit and flatter me (2 of which were on sale!). Usually pants are hard for me, as I have a “flat ass”, skinny thighs and a “big” stomach, at least according to clothing manufacturers – so pants will be billowing off my backside yet strangling my stomach.
After that, it feels this year has been like a series of events where everything is falling into place. A new job where with every passing week I feel more and more excited that I landed at the right place. Biking to work everyday. Having time to lift weights twice a week just a block from work, which has boosted my self image. Lost 3 kg, probably from leaving the stress of my old job behind me. Taking more time for skincare, while trying to change my inner criticisms of how bad my skin is to instead talking to myself as “caring for myself”. Outlet shopping with my uncle while visiting home, finding a pair of boots that make me feel amazing. Even reflecting on the sewing mistakes I made during 2016 (technically, only August to December). All these things together, along with what has felt like a long time to rediscover my style – my vision of my personal style has finally clicked.
I know it sounds superficial, and this was the inner dialog I had for the past several years. Though having gone through that I much prefer this version of myself. Taking time to take care of myself and do things for myself. Rather than feeling bad about how I am different and do not fit in, I can look at what makes me uniquely beautiful.
And I finally (nearly finished) Butterick B5526 this Easter weekend 🙂 Reviews coming soon.